Spouses & Partners
Spouses/Partners of Addicts Rebuilding and Healing
S.A.R.A.H. Groups for Spouses
Spouses groups are a vital part of the Capstone Sexual Recovery & Transformation program. The discovery of sexual addiction is a traumatic experience. The pain and devastation of betrayal is overwhelming. Read some of the quotes below from spouses who began this journey. Spouses of sex addicts can get well, regardless of what the addict in their life chooses to do. S.A.R.A.H. groups provide a safe place for the grieving process and healing to take place.
“I felt horror, anger, rage, terror, fury at God. I loved my husband and I wanted his comfort, yet he was the source of my searing pain. It left me shell-shocked. I had fear for my health and for our children. I threw up, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, cried constantly.” – spouse of a sex addict
“I couldn’t read, nothing made sense…I totally lost my ability to concentrate. I got lost a lot. My initial reaction was to shake uncontrollably- I’ve had this reaction before to death. This was death. I never felt so betrayed in my life. It was devastating, traumatic. The initial disclosure was one of the darkest times of my life…it rocked me to the core of my soul.”
– spouse of a sex addict
The Trauma of Betrayal
The discovery of sexual addiction in your marriage and family is a traumatic event. Research shows that 70% of spouses develop symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder upon discovery of sexual acting out. The discovery of affairs, pornography, or any other form of sexual integrity issue creates a sense of loss in the relationship. The devastation and grief experienced by those married to people with sexual integrity issues can be overwhelming. It’s not uncommon to experience depression, anxiety, and physical symptoms. Your world has been turned upside down. Shock, anger, fear hopelessness, pain, and overwhelming frustration may dominate your thoughts and feelings. Help is available – even if your spouse refuses to deal with his/her problem. You can heal, regardless of what the addict in your life chooses to do.
Why Should a Partner Seek Help?
Partners and family members are severely wounded by the devastation of sexual addiction. If you are the passenger in an automobile accident, you may not have been responsible for the wreck, but you still seek treatment for your injuries. In the same way, you didn’t cause your husband / wife to make the choices he/she made, but you have experienced the pain and trauma. Healing is important for you, regardless of what the addict in your life chooses. Going through a healing process as a spouse is a critical part of breaking the cycle in your family. It’s important to model self-care for your children and to be equipped to deal with the impact of sexual addiction on your family. S.A.R.A.H. groups for spouses provide a safe place for you to heal. Most importantly, you deserve as much care as you need.
Breaking the Cycle
Many spouses suffer in shame and silence as they cope with the impact of sexual betrayal on their marriage and family life. Without treatment, the entire family can be victimized by this destructive cycle for generations. Partners can make a difference in their families and help break the cycle, regardless of what the addict chooses.
S.A.R.A.H. groups develop the foundation of recovery for partners who have felt the pain of betrayal. These groups provide a support network to begin the journey of healing from sexual addiction, trauma, and the impact on your family. These groups provide a safe place for your personal healing and growth.
What Will Not Happen
You will not be labeled a coaddict or codependent.
You will not be blamed for your partner’s behavior.
You will not be told to be more sexual with your partner in an effort to control his behavior.
You will not be shamed for deciding to stay in the relationship.
You will not be shamed for deciding to end the relationship.
What You Will Find
You will find a group led by a trained expert in partner trauma who will provide a safe space for your healing.
You will find many supportive resources for yourself and your family.
You will find a supportive environment and a place to share.
Partners groups are at the heart of our program and mission. For so long, partners were neglected, underserved, and abused by the professional sex addiction community. Capstone has pioneered with others in creating new models and approaches to working with partners, addicts, and their families. Please contact us if we can serve or if you need more information.