5 Powerful Suggestions for Those Whose Partner Has a Sexual Addiction
How would you react if you found out your partner was having sex with someone else? Would you be angry or hurt? Would you try to fix things or leave? Likewise, what would you do if your partner disclosed they have a sexual addiction?
The problem of sexual addiction has become a growing concern among couples everywhere. If you suspect your significant other might have a sex addiction, you may be wondering if there's actually an effective way to respond. After all, the goal is not to make matters worse. Yet, you also want and deserve something to change, both for yourself and the relationship.
Those with sexual addiction struggle with uncontrollable compulsive sexual behaviors. As a result, they continue to engage in risky sexual behavior without thinking about or despite the consequences. So, what can you do
Understanding Sexual Addiction
There is controversy surrounding the diagnosis of sexual addiction, and the reasons why vary. However, there are people and professionals around the world who understand its harsh reality. Researchers continue to study this complex disorder. Ongoing research dives into the search to understand the causes, the compulsion, and the best strategies for recovery.
In 1980,
Dr. Patrick Carnes coined the term sexual addiction.
WebMD.com defines it as a condition of uncontrollable sexual thoughts, thoughts, and urges. Like any addiction, it negatively impacts one's life. As a result, individuals continue to engage in compulsive sexual behavior despite the consequences or risks. Dr. Carnes has spent years researching the addiction. Likewise, he has developed the fundamentals of treatment models and strategies for recovery.
How Do I Respond After Discovering My Partner's Sexual Addiction
Among many emotions, shock may be the dominant emotion you feel after discovering your partner's sexual addiction. Likewise, you might experience heavy emotions such as confusion, sadness, anger, and fear. As a result, you may move into a state of denial as a way to survive the heavy emotional turmoil.
Sexual addiction is complex, and it can lead to serious and dangerous consequences. On the flip side, trying to understand why your partner continues to engage in such behaviors can ignite a slew of emotions.
As you try to salvage any sense of reality, it may be helpful to remember the following.
- Self-care is vital to your emotional and physical health. Now, more than ever, it will be crucial to allow yourself to tend to your needs.
- Seek support for yourself. It's hard to heal and process your thoughts and feelings without having someone to talk to.
- Set boundaries and follow through with consequences. This will be crucial for both of you. For example, if you don't feel comfortable being physically intimate at this time, then allow yourself to hold that boundary. After all, despite what your partner may tell you, more sex does not resolve a sexual addiction.
- Remind yourself this is not your fault. No amount of "What if I..." scenarios would change the outcome of sexual addiction. Unfortunately, the nature of addiction leads people to hurt the ones they love the most.
- Find a treatment program. Both inpatient and outpatient programs are available for those with sexual addiction. Regardless of which route works best for you, some sort of program is often necessary for recovery. Likewise, both individual and couples or family therapy can serve as a vital component of the healing and recovery process. Together you can decide what form of treatment will be best for your family.
Learning How to Heal After Discovering Your Partner's Sexual Addiction
Capstone Counseling and Coaching has a team of professionals that have a variety of expertise and training. Among the various specialties, we provide treatment for those with sexual addiction. Likewise, we serve partners and loved ones of those with an addiction. Addressing this complex issue can be life-changing for everyone involved.
Contact us today, and let's talk about how we can help you.