Healing Trauma from Betrayal
You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You have trauma and you can heal.
What Is Betrayal/Relational Trauma?
The discovery of problematic sexual behavior (sometimes called sex addiction or hypersexuality) in your Intimate relationship/marriage and family is a traumatic event. Research shows that almost 70% of spouses develop symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder upon discovery of sexual acting out. The discovery of affairs, pornography, or any other problematic sexual behavior creates a sense of loss in the relationship. The devastation and grief experienced by those in relationship to people with problematic sexual behavior can be overwhelming.
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It’s not uncommon to experience depression, anxiety, and physical symptoms. Your world has been turned upside down. Shock, anger, fear hopelessness, pain, and overwhelming frustration may dominate your thoughts and feelings. Physical symptoms are common. Help is available – even if your spouse refuses to deal with his/her problem. You can heal, regardless of what the individual with PSB in your life chooses to do.
The Process
Step 1:
We use some assessments and counseling sessions to identify your type and level of trauma
Betrayal Trauma creates feelings of hopelessness, danger, anxiety and impacts our ability to express ourselves, making it difficult to regulate our emotions. As a result, our problem solving is impaired, and we begin to shut down, lose our ability to connect to others, creating further feelings of loneliness and fear. Our assessments, written and relational, will identify the depth and breadth of your trauma.
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Step 2:
Meet with your therapist
During the intake session, we will develop an additional qualitative understanding which will facilitate the development of your healing process. Your plan can include individual therapy, group therapy, trauma specific therapy, EMDR therapy, brainspotting, couples therapy, mindfulness and a variety of other options.
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Step 3:
Implementing your personalized plan at a manageable pace
Your therapist will continue collaborate as you begin the process of healing. Generally, this includes a variety of important therapeutic elements such as understanding your trauma, grieving your losses, navigating the questions, setting boundaries, gathering information needed for your health, getting you to a place where you can make decisions about the relationship, and when appropriate, facilitating a therapeutic disclosure.
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More for Partners
Why Should a Partner Seek Help?
Partners and family members are severely wounded by the devastation of problematic sexual behavior. If you are the passenger in an automobile accident, you may not have been responsible for the wreck, but you still seek treatment for your injuries. In the same way, you didn’t cause your husband / wife to make the choices he/she made, but you have experienced the pain and trauma. Healing is important for you, regardless of what the person who betrayed you in your life chooses. Going through a healing process as an intimate partner is a critical part of breaking the cycle in your family. It’s important to model self-care for your children and to be equipped to deal with the impact of PSB on your family. Groups for partners provide a safe place for you to heal. Most importantly, you deserve as much care as you need. Your care should never be considered less important that that of the person with PSB.
Breaking the Cycle
Many spouses suffer in shame and silence as they cope with the impact of sexual betrayal on their marriage and family life. Without proper care, the entire family can be victimized by this destructive cycle for generations. Partners can make a difference in their families and help break the cycle, regardless of what the person with PSB chooses.
Groups
Partners groups are a vital part of the Capstone Sexual Recovery & Transformation program. The discovery of problematic sexual behavior is a traumatic experience. The pain and devastation of betrayal is overwhelming. Intimate partners of people with PSB can get well, regardless of what the individual with PSB in their life chooses to do. Groups provide a safe place for the grieving process and healing to take place.
Groups help develop the foundation of healing for partners who have felt the pain of betrayal. These groups provide a support network to begin the journey of healing from sexual betrayal, trauma, and the impact on your family. These groups provide a safe place for your personal healing and growth.
In summary, what will NOT
happen when you come to us
- You will not be labeled a co-addict or co-dependent.
- You will not be blamed for your partner’s behavior.
- You will not be told to be more sexual with your partner in an effort to control his behavior.
- You will not be shamed for deciding to stay in the relationship.
- You will not be shamed for deciding to end the relationship.
What You Will Find
- You will find a group led by a trained compassionate expert in intimate partner trauma who will provide a safe space for your healing.
- You will find many supportive resources for yourself and your family.
- You will find a supportive environment and a place to share.
Partners groups are at the heart of our program and mission. For so long, partners were neglected, underserved, and abused by the professional sex addiction community. Sadly, many intimate partners still go for help and find themselves victimized by therapists who are not trained in working with partners. The co-addict model is still dominate in the profession and many partners still experience treatment induced trauma from therapists and the clergy. Capstone has pioneered with others in creating new models and approaches to working with intimate partners, people with PSB, and their families. Please contact us if we can serve or if you need more information.